Undone
by changinglanes
Summary: After her parents tell Brenna she can't see Greer anymore, the two girls unravel. Between April and missing the one she loves, Brenna starts drinking to get rid of the pain and Greer picks up an old habit, even though she knows how dangerous it is. Before its too late, the two girls realize they have to fight for each other, whether the blonde haired girl's parents like it or not.
1. Unraveled

A very loud and shrill beeping sound filled the area around me, jolting me from my sleep. I squinted at the blinding rays coming in through the window and groaned in pain, leaning over my mattress. I reached for the alarm and lost my balance, causing me to tumble off the bed, landing hard on the floor. I let out a guttural noise and covered my ears. The beeping was too much for me right now. My head felt clogged and it ached badly. I couldn't even move. Struggling to get up, I put my hands on the edge of the bedside table, and slowly raised myself up. Immediately, a sharp, piercing pain shot through my head, throwing me off guard. I clenched the edge of the table tightly with both hands. I hit the snooze button, finally stopping that dreaded sound. What the hell did I do last night? I don't remember a thing. My stomach churned and I felt the acid rising in my chest-oh crap! I quickly got down on my knees and leaned over the trash can, throwing up. I picked my head up and stretched my arm out to get a tissue. However, before getting the chance to, my eyes darted past something in the garbage and my heart lurched inside of me. I scrambled onto my feet and dug through the puke covered trash can until I found the picture. I acted like a wild animal trying to get it, but I didn't care.

I held the picture of my beautiful ex-girlfriend and tears poured from my eyes. I remember everything now. I remember why had gotten drunk. "God, I miss you so much." She sobbed and memories floated through her mind. The tennis game, the time where she invited Greer to sit with her at the movie and their first kiss. Brenna remembered that the most. God, when their lips touched, it was electric. Frankly, she had never felt anything so good in her entire life. Her touch, whether, it was kissing her or holding each other, ignited a spark in Brenna that was unlike anything else. Ever since she found her, there was nothing else that could light her up inside like Greer could. And now she didn't know what to do. The girl had been such a positive influence on her and had changed Brenna for the better. She missed being better. She missed being better when she was with Greer. Brenna fell to her knees, dramatically. Her lips trembled as she spoke, "I miss you."

When would she see that smile again? Then she panicked. "No! Shit! My picture." It's ruined." She cried. Her tears fell to the floor and the happy cheerful heart that had been inside of her chest became swollen and shattered. The more she cried, the more she felt like she couldn't breathe. She gasped and climbed up onto her bed, her head hitting the pillow. Brenna felt so sad. The phone rang, interrupting her from melancholy thoughts. The high pitched ringing made her head throb even more. "Ughhhh!" Groaning and in a daze, she lifted herself up and carefully walked over to her cell-phone. Groggily she answered the phone, feeling dizzy. Her head spun around and around. "Hello."

"Hey, are you-brenna?" Is that you? You sound terrible." It was Beth. Great.

"Yeah…shit." Her stomach twisted and heaved and she found herself running to the trash-can again. Making an awful retching sound, she emptied the contents of her stomach into the garbage.

"Oh my gosh, Brenna!" Are you-okay? Alright, I am coming over."

"No-

Before she could finish she threw up again, for what was hopefully the last time. "Brenna did you hear me?"

There was no point in telling her not to come over. She was a mess and really needed somebody right now. "Yeah." Even though, she had just puked three times, the girl perked up a bit. At least Beth would be coming over. She really liked her. Of course not as much as she liked Greer…but then, she didn't like anyone as much as she liked Greer. She laid her head against the pillow resting her sick body and closed her eyes. The girl continued to cry, still thinking about her. God, she wanted her so much and staring at her now ruined, vomit covered picture only worsened her hangover. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

Brenna had been asleep for about 20 minutes, when Beth walked in. The disgusting stench permeated throughout the room and she sighed. She made her way over to the sleeping girl and looked at the mess she made. She sighed. "Oh, Brenna." Beth shook her head and plugged her nose, emptying out the trash. Brenna rolled over and mumbled.

"Greer..."

Beth frowned. Poor thing. She knew how much not seeing the beautiful blonde has been affecting her. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw a bunch of bottles under Brenna's bed. She sighed, disappointed in her. Beth understood that she missed Greer, but drinking was not the way to handle it. And she was supposed to see April this morning, just like she was yesterday, but obviously that wasn't happening. Just like yesterday, she had chosen to get drunk. Before she could get the bottles Beth noticed a picture under the girl's stomach. Quietly, she reached up, trying not to disturb her. While getting the picture, her arm grazed against Brenna's stomach.

"Mmmmm...Greer." Beth eyes widened and she jerked back.

"Wow." I really did not need to hear that."

She looked down at the picture stained with her vomit and gasped.

"Ewww!" Beth threw the photo away from her. She'd take care of that later as well as the stuff under her bed, but she had to wash her hands first.

"Ohhh, gross." She whispered. Before going to the bathroom she glanced back at Brenna sadly. She was really disappointed and angry with her. Beth made it to the bathroom and turned on the faucet. She was relieved to feel the warm water rinsing off all of the grime on her hands. She pressed down on the canister of soap and rubbed her hands together, making sure they were extremely clean. She felt less dirty now. When she heard a mumble coming from the room, she looked over at Brenna and found she was awake. She turned off the water and made her way over to the girl. "Beth?" She said quietly.

"Hey." She responded, although not really wanting to talk to her. Brenna sat up, realizing that was a mistake.

"Ughhhh!" She held the sides of her head. 

"I know, I know...you feel like crap don't you?"

She nodded. "Yeah, well, you deserve it." Now come downstairs and get an icepack." Angrily, she walked away. What the hell? Brenna was so confused. She slowly lifted herself up off the bed, completely aware of her aching head. She stumbled a bit before walking normally. Brenna cringed and made her way to the door.

"Owwww...my head."

Brenna grabbed her purse, which was hanging on the knob and hung it over her shoulder. This action made the room spin around and the aching pounded even more. "Ughhhh." She groaned for about the 10th time that morning and realized she didn't even need her purse. Oh, well. She'd carry it downstairs anyway-shit! It hit her. And the reason slammed against her worse than the pain she was in now. Brenna was supposed to see April yesterday morning and today. An overwhelming feeling of guilt swept through her. She quickly swung open the door and not caring about how she would feel, Brenna dashed to the top of the stairs, wanting badly to apologize. Like a cheetah she sped down, the pain beating against her insides like a hammer. "I am so sorry! I completely forgot!"

Beth couldn't even look at her. "No you didn't. You just decided to get drunk instead."

"Beth..

"No, I don't want to hear it." You're sister has been sitting in that hospital with an IV stuck to her arm, crying her eyes out."

I immediately became concerned. "Leo died." And you weren't there! And you're not there now. My heart broke inside my chest and my eyes welled with tears. I am the worst sister ever. "I didn't-

"Of course you didn't know! You were too busy getting hammered because you're girlfriend was too much of a fucking wimp to stand up to her own parents and fight for you!"

That's when I lost it. "Fuck you!" I said harshly, pushing her with all the force I had in me. Beth looked at me in shock. Tears fell rapidly down my face and I bolted out the door. "Brenna, wait!

I ignored Beth's cry and continued to sob. Brenna ran as fast as she could, her legs picking up speed each time they came off the ground. It was wrong of her to push Beth. And it was also wrong for her to swear at Beth, but she didn't feel sorry. She didn't feel sorry at all. How dare she insult Greer! That bitch had it coming! She deserved it. She called her a fucking wimp! That was so low of her. She didn't know anything about Greer. Fuck her! She is the farthest thing from a wimp! Brenna thought these things to herself as she slowed down and walked. An unbelievable feeling of rage exploded inside of her when Beth spoke about the beautiful blonde that way. She couldn't take someone insulting the girl she loved. And like she said, she didn't know anything about her. It was so unlike her to act like this. She didn't know what was going on with Beth, but whatever it was, she didn't like it. Just because she didn't fight for me didn't mean she was a wimp. A fucking wimp as Beth put it. She was wrong. Her parents are the biggest assholes I have ever seen. They also seem to be pretty controlling and I don't think Greer knew how to stand up to them. And even if she did, it wouldn't work. They had made up there minds. And there minds were so completely ignorant. Still angry, Brenna clenched her fists. Her headache worsened and she was running out of breath.

The sun was way too bright. The hangover made it hurt like hell to look at anything. I didn't think I could walk anymore. I felt so weak. Not just because of my god-awful hangover, but because I felt so guilty and couldn't stop crying. I wiped the tears from my eyes and just stood for a minute.

"Brenna!" Ow! That hurt! I turned and a car had pulled up to the side of the curb. The glare of the blistering sun was right on me and I squinted to see who was behind the tinted windows. It was Beth. I turned around again and walked away. I am not talking to her.

"Brenna, c'mon! I'm sorry!" The light killed me, pounding my onto my sensitive head. My eyes were burning and I was dying for sunglasses. I didn't want to walk anymore, but I certainly didn't want to be with her either.

However, despite all of that, I continued to walk away. It was no use though because she followed me in her car, driving slowly. That really pissed me off. "Go away!" I said loudly.

"I have sunglasses." Oh! Sunglasses! Without realizing what I was doing I walked towards her car. "No!" I am not falling for that!"

"C'mon. Please get in. I'm really sorry." I scoffed.

"Bullshit."

"Brenna…

I saw the hurt look on her face and actually felt really bad. Now I felt guilty for two things. For not going to see April and acting like such an asshole to Beth. I got in the car and grabbed the sunglasses, immediately putting them on. I hate saying sorry, but I would have to do it. "I'm sorry too."

"Wait…Brenna Carver is actually apologizing? She said, her voice full of sarcasm. Beth grinned. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah…go ahead and joke, but believe it or not, I really am sorry." God, I am such a bitch." She revved up the engine and soon enough, began driving down the road.

That's okay. And no, you're not. You may give that impression, but trust me, you're really not."

"No, actually, I really am." I said, being completely serious. "Where are we going?"

Beth retorted, "No, actually, you're really not." And I am taking you to see April. I grinned.

"Thank you and okay, so maybe I am not a total bitch, but I am a terrible sister.

"Brenna, stop." You are not a terrible sister-

"My sister has cancer and I didn't visit her in the hospital when she needed me the most! I was too drunk to care…poor April. Tears filled my eyes again.

"That's not true." You did care. " Yeah, maybe you weren't thinking about April when you were drunk, but you were thinking about someone else."

I frowned. I couldn't respond to that. I just couldn't. It hurt too much. "Listen, I know not seeing her has been hard, but you've got to stop drinking." If April saw you-

"I am fine, Beth." I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at her, a bit annoyed. I didn't see the problem with drinking. It's not like I am becoming an alcoholic.

"No, you're not." And if April saw you this morning, it would've killed her."

"That's not true."

"Well, than would you like me to tell her how you've been doing and see her reaction?"

"No!" Of course not." I exclaimed.

She sighed. "Well, than please stop drinking." Or else I'll have to tell her."

"Fine." I lied.

April stood in her hospital room, staring out the window. Tears fell down her cheek and her heart was crushed from the blow. Leo is gone. She wished more than anything that he could be with her right now. She wanted to see his handsome face and tell her in that sweet voice of his that everything was going to be alright.

Miserable and heartbroken, she headed back to bed. She lay down and shut her eyes. She wanted to die. She truly wanted to be dead. April wasn't going to do anything about that, but it's the truth. And she also wanted kill Brenna. That little bitch hadn't visited her in two days. At first she felt really bad for her sister. She can tell Brenna really loves Greer and would have really liked to comfort her. However, she was being a selfish asshole so all the compassion she felt for her went down the drain. April rolled over in her bed, feeling nauseous. Luckily, she didn't feel like she was going to throw up. And thank god for that because she had already done that twice today. Other than talking with Beth, puking and crying, she hadn't really done much else today. The lack of things to do didn't bother her though. She's used to it by now. April glanced at her IV and sighed. She hated looking at that thing. Hated it. That and the thought of death were the two things she could never get use to. The clack of shoes against the floor, took her away from her thoughts. April rolled over again and a rush of anger went flying through her.

"Hey." Beth said."

"Get out." She said harshly.

"Me?" Her best friend pointed to herself.

"No, not you." Brenna." Her eyes glistened and she looked sadly at April.

"April…

"I said get out!"

"I am sorry." She sobbed.

"C'mon…let her stay. She made a mistake." Beth pleaded.

"Yeah, she did. So, go away."

"But, I-

"Just leave already!" Crying, she walked away.

Completely defeated, Brenna stood outside the hospital, staring at a liquor store. _Don't do it. Don't do it._ She kept telling herself not to go down that road again. You told Beth you wouldn't. Oh, right, I lied to her. At the moment, drinking didn't seem like such a bad idea. My hangover is gone and I won't let myself get as drunk as I did last night. I need something to take the pain away. Now, I am not just sad. I am beyond that at this point. Everything has come crashing down on me. The one that I miss the most isn't here to comfort me and the sister I love doesn't want me around. And Ford is long gone. I feel like scum. I really am a terrible person.

That thought took over and before I knew it, I was standing in the liquor store. I am so much better than this, but I really didn't care. I gave in. The impulse to drink had been strangling me, wrapping its cold hands around my neck. Making sure the man at the register didn't see, I dug into the pocket of my purse and slipped out a fake I.D. I had kept it from that one time Ford and I went to a party at a club. I walked down the row of drinks, checking out the colorful bottles. Ah! I stopped when I came across a cobalt blue flask. I snatched it, looking at the front of it. It's Vodka. Great, just what I need. I stuck my hand into my purse and pulled out my wallet.

I looked wallet and took out the amount I needed. I had stopped crying, but felt the tears come back when I saw a picture of April I had put in my wallet. I raced to the front of the store, just wanting to get out of there. I couldn't let anyone see me cry. I don't do that in public. It's awkward. The man gave me a strange look, probably wondering why I was in such a rush. I held back from crying and gave him the money. When I stepped outside, I searched for a place to sit down and fall apart, alone. Oh, perfect. Not caring if I got hit by a car I stepped out onto street, taking a swig. I knew there weren't any cars coming though. I didn't hear any engines. I put on my sunglasses, so my tears would be concealed and trudged up a hill. The wind was in my hair and the sun was shining, but I felt like giant gray clouds were looming over me. I plopped down under the shade of a tree and burst into tears. I couldn't hold my sadness inside anymore.

I took a gulp of the vodka and drowned myself in the drink. It's bitter taste helped numb the pain every time it went down. The flavor of it was pungent and strong, so it wasn't that great, but I'd rather drink something bad than feel something bad. I sobbed as I took another swig. The tears just kept coming and coming. I swayed a bit, succumbing to drunkenness. Crying, I took another gulp. I sniffled and immediately tried to hide the bottle. The tears must have been making things blurry because I could have sworn I saw Greer coming up the hill-oh shit.

That was totally her. I had forgotten that she liked to walk here. Time to get more drunk. Seeing her made me cry even harder. I bawled like a little child and not thinking she would see me, I took a snagged the bottle. I drank, tears falling onto my arm.

"Brenna?" Fucking shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What do I do?" With the drink in my left hand, I shook a bit and turned slowly towards her. I didn't say anything. She sat down next to me, disregarding her parent's rule.

I choked. "I thought you weren't supposed to see me." And I don't know why you'd want to anyway. I am a terrible person." I said, my lips trembling. First, she reached over and took the bottle out of my hand, then put her arm around my shoulder, holding me. God I missed her touch. I missed it so fucking much.

"I am not. But my parents aren't here and you look like you really need someone, so I don't care what they think. And no, you're not. What would make you think something like that?"

I cried into her shoulder, unable to answer. I just wanted to feel her. I just had to. I couldn't think of anything else that would make me feel better. "Brenna?"

She said softly, like she always does when she comforts me. I love it…I love her voice and I love the way she treats me. I pulled back and sobbed. "I really fucked up this time."

Greer wiped my tears with her thumb and held my chin with her hand. "What happened?"

"I've been-I've been…

I couldn't get the words out.

"Have you been drinking?"

I nodded, ashamed of myself. "I got so drunk yesterday and last night I forget to visit April. I woke up with a hangover this morning and didn't even realize I had screwed up. And when I went to see her today, she-she told me to get out." Greer sighed and pulled me into her chest.

"That doesn't make you a terrible person. That makes you someone who got drunk and wasn't thinking. She'll forgive you. I would."

I smiled. "Do you really think so? I mean, you didn't see the look on her face when she told me to leave. I really hurt her, Greer."

"I know…but you didn't mean to and she'll get over it. As for you, you're never going to feel any better if you keep drinking." Please tell me you're not getting drunk because you miss me."

I didn't know what to say. I pulled myself off of her and tried to come up with something to tell her. "No…no, I am not. I-I..just am." I stammered.

"Don't lie to me." She said boldly.

"I-I-I'am not-you're not the reason I've been drinking."

I noticed her eyes sparkling. Oh, no. I really hope she wasn't crying. "I know you're lying."

"I am not lying!"

"Please just tell me the truth."

"Yes, okay? Yes, I've been drinking because of you. Because I hate not seeing you."

She threw the bottle over the hill. She stood up and began to walk away. She seemed really angry. Her behavior surprised me. "Greer?"

"I miss you too, but getting drunk is not the way to handle this!" I am not worth it." Shocked and taken aback, I could only stand there and try to figure out what she meant. But it didn't mean anything to me. Of course she is worth it. What the hell was she talking about? Before I could even respond, she had left.

As soon as Greer got home, she shut the door of her room and broke down in tears. Just like Brenna, she could feel herself giving in slowly. An old impulse was clawing at her skin, grabbing hold of her arms. _Don't do it, Greer_. _Don't Do it._ Tears poured down faster and faster. _Don't do it! _"God, I miss you so much." She wished she hadn't walked away from her, but it was too much. She couldn't handle seeing her. She felt like she wanted to die. Her parents were monsters. How could they do this? Why couldn't she have stood up for herself and fought for the girl she loved? She was a wimp. That's why. Greer felt she had ruined everything. She cried uncontrollably, until she couldn't take it anymore. Greer had to do something to distract herself from the pain of missing Brenna. She stood up and walked over to her bureau. The blonde haired girl opened the drawer and looked at a pile of rags. She took a deep breath in and exhaled. She put her hand on top of the fabric, unfolding the cloth. Lying there, was a sharp and shiny blade.


	2. The Blade

A lovely aroma spread throughout the hospital room, causing April to wake up from her sleep. She opened her eyes, squinting at the glare from the bright sun. A vase of beautiful roses and peonies sat on her bedside table. There was a note attached to it. She smiled, her heart warming up. April leaned over and read the note: _I am sorry._ Awwww…how sweet of her. A smile lit up her face. Then, however she was racked with a feeling of guilt. She should not have kicked her sister out. God, she had acted like such a jerk. Brenna must have felt terrible. She had to see her. Worrying, she rose from her bed, wrapping a blanket around her. The hospital room was quite cold this morning. Oh, well. April opened the blinds and stared out the window.

She imagined Leo was next to her, smiling. God she wished he were here with her.

"Hey."

April jumped, startled by the voice. She turned, seeing her sister in a black dress. She looked really pretty. April grinned slightly, happy to see her, but also feeling very sorry.

"Thanks for the flowers." They're beautiful." She nodded. Brenna walked over to her and sat down on her bed.

"I am really sorry about yesterday."

"It's fine."

"No, its not. I shouldn't have kicked you out."

She looked down at the floor, not knowing what to say. April pulled Brenna in for a hug. She brought her into her arms and everything felt alright.

Brenna smiled. "So, Leo's funeral is today." Did you want to go?"

Tears formed in her eyes and she felt like she was choking on air. "Yes…

Her sister wrapped her arm around her shoulder as Beth walked in wearing a gray dress. She gave April a grin. Of course she would be there. God, what would she do without her?

"Hey." April wiped under her eyes and sniffled. "Hey." Beth hugged her best friend and then wrapped her arms around Brenna. While doing so, she noticed a silver flask sticking out of her purse. She quickly pushed it down so April wouldn't see and glared at her.

"What?" Brenna asked.

"Nothing." Anyway, do you want to go?" She looked down at the floor, still crying.

"Yes, but…I don't know how I would do that."

The thought of herself getting up and moving in order to go to the dreaded event, made her feel exhausted and embarrassed. The last thing April needed was for people to be staring at her, feeling sorry. It would also be extremely painful for her to go while she was hooked up to this dreadful IV. People would be staring and whispering to each other. _"Oh, that poor girl." "I feel so bad for her." "Look. at that girl over there." She must have cancer. How sad."_ She didn't want to go and become the center of attention. This is for Leo. April was not going to make herself a spectacle. I mean, my gosh...it's a funeral. Let's just add something more painful to an already agonizing event! Yeah, no. She didn't even know if the nurses would allow her to go. Also, Would she even be able to withstand the brutal atmosphere of the funeral? She wouldn't be able to do so without breaking down.

"I am so tired and I don't know if the nurses will let me out of here." I can't go looking like this anyway." April frowned at the tubes stuck to her and at the IV by her side. Goddamn thing. She would have loved nothing more than to rip them off of her.

"I've got it all covered." Beth smiled. "We'll be right back, okay?" April nodded.

Brenna's POV-

When they were out of her sister's view, Beth reached inside my purse, but not without her getting angry. "Hey, stop it!" What the hell are you doing?" The Australian girl didn't respond. Instead, she retrieved the flask and walked towards the window.

"What are you doing?" Brenna exclaimed, freaking out. Beth looked at the panicked girl and raised her eyebrows, opening the shutter. She threw the flask out the window, feeling proud of herself. I became enraged. My cheeks were red and burning with anger.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked furiously. Beth stared down at me.

"I told you not to drink anymore!"

"Yeah, well, I guess I didn't follow that rule." She said, annoyed.

Beth scoffed. "Obviously not. I mean, honestly, Brenna. Are you trying to ruin your life?"

I am not ruining my life and you know it."

"Well, keep drinking until you get to that point then, I don't care." Now help me get April's dress and wheelchair."

"Yeah, just hold on. I have to go to the bathroom." I walked down the dismal, depressing hallway, hating this place more and more with each step. I hate the hospital. It reeks of death and disease. That's not the worst part. Memories of when my dad was here dying always manage to sneak their way into my mind. I hate seeing April here. I hate the way it makes me feel. I wanted to rip my hair out when I was in her room. Thankfully Beth took me out of there. Only to yell at me though. I can't stand fighting with her and I don't think I can move another inch without taking a drink. And I didn't want to drink because I was feeling low this time. I just wanted it. But, I couldn't. The urge is killing me, but I already feel bad about leaving another flask in my purse. I had let Beth down and I'd do that again if I took a sip. I wish she would realize the way she has been acting towards me really makes me feel like a terrible person.

I certainly felt like one now. It didn't matter if Beth and Greer reassured me that I wasn't one because I've always felt that way about myself. And I've felt that way because its true. I honestly believe that I am not a good person and it's only when I am around Greer that I don't feel like a bad person. I have to call her. If I can hear her voice I wont drink. I pulled out my phone and dialed her number, praying to god she would answer. Just because I can't see her doesn't mean I can't call her. "Brenna, why are you calling-owwww."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. My arm is sore...why are you calling me? If my parents find out-

"I am sorry. I just need someone to make me feel better."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to go into it, just tell me something that will make me feel better."

"Alright..."You're beautiful. And you're amazing. Whatever it is you're going through, you can do it. Just push through. You're strong enough. And you don't need to drink to do it. Just think of me instead." My face lit up and I instantly became happy.

I hung up the phone and walked over to get the wheelchair. She could get the dress. I wasn't getting it. I couldn't be around her right now. However, I would say something to her.

She heard something behind her and she turned around. "Hey!" What took you so long?" I didn't bother to respond.

"I'll take the wheelchair. You get the dress. I am not helping someone who keeps fighting with me." And with that I walked away, not wanting to be anywhere near her. I just want to stop fighting. I should probably tell April I've been drinking, but this is not the time to do so. Out of the corner of my eyes, she saw Beth shake her head.

"Don't act like this is my fault, Brenna."

Again, I ignored her, and rolled the wheel chair into a nearby closet, stepping in. I am so angry I feel like I can't breathe. When the door was completely shut, I stood for a second and then slammed my fist into the wall. OWWW! That hurt! I shook my hand and l groaned, wishing I could stay in the closet. Oh, wait...I am already out. I chuckled to myself. God, that was so lame. I am so lame. As I left the closet, I thought to myself that the joke I made was inaccurate…at least sort of. Even though I was in love with a girl, I wasn't gay. Therefore I didn't need to come out. I pushed the wheelchair in the direction of April's room. God. I really wish I didn't have to be here. I just wanted to go back in that closet and drink. I didn't want to go to the funeral. But I had to for April. I looked around at the bleak hallway, listening to the sound of my shoes hitting the floor. Everything is so dark and dreary. The energy here probably sucks the life out of April. I am glad we are getting her out of this hellhole, even if it is for a funeral. The wheels squeaked against her hospital room floor and April smiled.

"Hey." Oh, you're bleeding." I looked down at my hand and saw a small red blob." Slamming my hand into the wall was really not the smartest thing of me to do. I am such an idiot.

"I am fine."

"Are you sure?" I have band-aids by my bedside."

I walked over to where the band-aids were and grinned. "You're weird. Why do you have these here?"

"Right back at you. And they are for emergencies."

I shook my head, taking her advice and putting a band-aid on my hand. "The only emergency is you being here." How do you stand it? It's so depressing."

"No, having cancer is the emergency. I mean, its not easy being in here and I do get sad because I can't go outside, but lets not talk about me. How are you?" I shrugged. I didn't want to tell her I wasn't okay because it wasn't necessary for her to worry about me.

"You're not doing so well, are you?" I shook my head and sat down on her bed. She wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into her chest. Yeah, you and me both."

I looked up at her with concerned eyes. "What's wrong with you?"

She frowned. "Dominick."

"Oh, right." I paused for a second, trying to think of what to say. I am not very good with advice. "Well, he's an idiot." I liked Leo better."

"I did too." What about you? Is it Greer?" My heart lurched just hearing her name.

"Yes." I said quietly, really not wanting to get into it. I think she could tell because she changed the subject.

"My gosh, where is Beth?" She's been gone for like 20 minutes."

"It's only been 10 minutes, April. And I don't know." Well, speak of the devil. Here she is now. Lovely.

"Sorry I took so long. My mom called me…long story."

"Can we save it for the car? I am dying to get out of here." I rolled the wheel chair over to her, trying not to get near Beth.

Beth helped April get into her dress, although my sister is perfectly capable of putting on clothes by herself. The walk to the car was the longest walk I had had in awhile. Looking at her being all friendly with April made me extremely unhappy. I would have loved to join their conversation, but wait…oh, that's right. Beth hates me, so that's not really an option. I was about to intervene when my phone rang. It was Greer. I grinned and my heart beat fast inside my chest.

"Hey."

"Hi. I said, my smile disappearing when I heard a sob on the other line. "Hey, are you crying? What's wrong?

"Can you please tell me something that will make me feel better?" I am really worried. I had no idea what was wrong and frankly it freaked me out. Greer never acted like this.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong?"

I'll talk to about it later…just tell me something that will make me feel better like I did for you."

"Brenna, c'mon!" We have to go!"

April yelled. I let Greer know I would be a minute and hurried to the car. When I got to April and Beth, they were already in the front seats. Beth glared at me and I was about to say something, but remembered my sister had no idea we were fighting.

"Can you give me a minute?" Greer called me and she's really upset." April smiled and nodded."

"Greer, can you hear me?"

"Yeah." She choked.

"It's going to be okay. Whatever is wrong, you'll be okay. Just think of me and be strong, like you always are. "You're beautiful and you're incredible."

Greer's POV-

I sat up in bed, my arm writhing in pain. However, I was still able to smile. "Thank you." That is just what I needed." I love you.

"You're welcome. Alright, I have to go now." I frowned, wanting to talk to her more. Just hearing her voice made my heart melt and it also made everything better. I really wish she could be here with me right now, holding me in her arms. I swear if Brenna was here, I'd put that blade away and hide it forever. But she isn't and the urge to cut is killing me.

"Bye." When she hung up the phone, I groaned in pain. "UGHHHH!" "My arm…

I stared at the bandage, realizing I needed a new one. "Shit." Blood had seeped through the gauze. I glanced down at my bed and noticed a red stain on the sheets. It wasn't too big and hadn't gotten everywhere, but I'd certainly need to wash it. I slowly unwrapped the bandage, wincing in pain. Luckily my parent weren't here going to be here for awhile. As usual, they were at work. Being careful about my arm, I got off my bed and took off the rest of the gauze. I went to the door and opened it, becoming shocked. My arm looks hideous. It's swollen and covered in dried blood. The gash wasn't big, it was a medium sized cut, but it was open and deep. I'll definitely need stitches. Of course, I meant to hurt myself, but it wasn't my intention to damage my arm so badly. Last night, I just felt really bad and needed to be distracted from thoughts of Brenna. When I first put the blade into my arm, my chest tightened. I felt like I couldn't breathe. It hurt so much, but I couldn't stop there.

I slowly ran the object across my skin, drawing blood. The pain was unbearable, but the adrenaline rush I felt was worth it. I felt high as if I was on some drug. Ecstasy maybe. I mean, I'd never been on that stuff or any other drug, but I had accidently overdosed on pain pills one time. When I had broken my leg, my doctor prescribed me medicine and instead of taking half of the dose and I took more than that. I didn't mean too, but I was stupid and daydreaming about something I can't remember now, when I was supposed to be listening to the doctor's directions. The artificial high that I felt last night was similar to the one when I overdosed.

I walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet, trying to find something to put on my arm. Let's see…we have cortisone, benadryl, rubbing alcohol, anti-itch cream and other medicine, which wouldn't help me. There was also gauze. I grabbed it, throwing it across the floor. I prepared myself for the pain I was about to endure and poured the strong smelling liquid into a cup, placing a wet rag in it. I waited for a minute and let the cloth soak up the alcohol. Leaning over the counter, I grabbed the rag and blotted it on my cut. "AHHHHHH!" Oh my god!" I gasped. "AH!" I held my arm and sat down against the wall, cringing because of the pain.

Wow! The rubbing alcohol really burned! "UGH!" I moaned, finding the hurt hard to withstand. I grabbed the gauze and got up, thinking that doing so it would make my arm feel better. Soon, I was lying on my bed and had wrapped my cut up in the gauze. I longer felt the burning and I am really happy for that because man, that really hurt! Now, I am just bored and still tempted to hurt myself. Instead, I smiled seductively and flung my shirt across the room.

My hormones were on a rampage and I just had to take care of that. I knew exactly what to do. In a hurry, I undid the button on my pants and laid back. Then I got out my phone and clicked on a picture of Brenna. God, she is so beautiful. Feeling quite aroused I slipped my hand down my thong, moving down towards the center. I groaned. "Mmmmm. I want you so much, Brenna." It felt so good, but that's all I would do though. I wrote out a message for Brenna, getting more and more excited. "Do you want me to make you feel better?"

Brenna responded quickly. "Okay."

I leaned back against my pillow, putting my hurt arm behind my head so she wouldn't see it. I tried to look as sexy as possible and gave a smile, making sure Brenna could see everything well. Boobs out, nearly busting out of my bra? Check. Lacy black thong that will drive Brenna crazy? Check. I held my phone out, trying to find a good angle. Oh, yeah, she'll love this. I snapped the picture, but didn't send it yet. I wanted to see it for myself. I looked at it, smiling. She'd be able to see my chest, all the way down to my thong. Such a sexy picture, if I may say so myself. I looked pretty good. She'll be going crazy. I sent it and happily waited for a response.

Brenna's POV-

I heard my phone buzz and picked it up. My mouth dropped and I didn't move. For a second I didn't even blink. I stared at the unbelievably hot and sexy picture, with my mouth hung open. Out of shock, the phone fell out of my hand and landed on the floor. "Holy shit." I was taken aback. The picture was completely unexpected and no doubt, the hottest photo I had ever seen. Not only was it that, it was also the most beautiful photo of someone I had ever seen in my entire life. I was blown away. And at this point, ridiculously turned on. I texted her back. "Damn, girl! DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!"

I sent another one. "That was one ridiculously hot photo. And I am so turned on."

Greer quickly responded. "Why, thank you...and turns out I am not so innocent after all."

I grinned. She is right. "Apparently, not. God you are so sexy. I wish I could see you right now." I sent the text, but didn't get a chance to see if she had responded.

"OH MY GOD BRENNA!" I DO NOT NEED TO SEE THIS!

"What? What is it?" April shoved her phone in her sister's face. It was the sexy photo Greer had sent her.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to send that to you!" I am sure my cheeks were about as red as a tomato and no, now was the time when I really wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

"Yeah, I figured, just get it off my phone."

I grinned. "Okay." I took her phone, chuckling. I wasn't going to erase it. I clicked on the photo and hit the "set as" function. Now the sexy picture would be in the background and home screen on her phone. Hahaha! I turned off her phone, making it less likely for her to see. I wanted to catch her off guard. "Here you go." I turned it off to save battery."

"Oh, thanks."

"You're welcome."

I looked at my phone and let Greer know about the mistake I made and the whole background prank.

"Brenna!" She responded back.

"Sorry. I really didn't mean to send that to April." You're not mad are you? For accidently sending it to her and then pulling that prank on her?

Brenna waited for an answer and soon enough it came.

"No, just a bit shocked. And missing you."

"Yeah, I miss you too. I wish I could see you."

"Oh if you were here, you would see ALL of me."

My eyes widened when she read Greer's text. "Stop. You are turning me on WAY too much. I am going to a funeral and it would be so wrong for me to feel this way at an event like that.

"Oh I am so sorry! I didn't know."

"That's okay. So, does this mean, we are not separated anymore? I mean you're texting me...

"That's completely different than seeing me, so no. I hate this."

"I know. I do too. Don't worry, though. I'll fight for you."

Greer sent a smiley face back and Brenna asked how she was doing.

"I am fine now, but I don't know how I am going to feel later."

Frowning, I tried to figure out what to say. "You'll be okay." Just think of me."

About 10 minutes later, we arrived at the funeral home and the first thing I did was go to the bathroom. I took out my phone, feeling great. Making sure no one was here, I pulled my shirt off and unbuttoned my pants, throwing them on I was wearing a lacy red bra and thong, both from Victoria's secret. I turned the camera towards me and looked at myself. Greer would be able to see my boobs practically popping out of my bra, my pale chest and underwear. She'd also be able to see my thighs. Well, part of them. The camera didn't get all of me, but she'd get to see most of me. I stuck my hand down my thong to make the picture extra hot. I groaned, wanting to do more to myself. Thinking about Greer getting all hot and flustered upon seeing my photo is making me feel so aroused. However, I would have to stop because I am at a funeral home and am already doing something that is wildly inappropriate.

I snapped the picture and sent it, feeling very happy. I put my shirt and pants back on, heading out of the bathroom. April and Beth were waiting for me in the lobby. Among the two was a throng of people. The crowd wasn't there when I went into the bathroom. He must have been popular. When I got to them, I held my sister's hand as Beth began to wheel her along.

"You ready?"

"No, not really. I don't think you can ever be ready for a funeral."

"Yeah, I guess you can't. Death sucks." I couldn't really come up with anything else to say. She nodded. Ahead, I could see the mourners leaning over the casket. I am so not looking forward to this part. I perked up when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I picked it up and read her text.

"Oh my god…

I was about to respond, but it felt so wrong to do so now. I put the phone away as a man and a woman walked toward us. I have no idea who they are, but I'll soon find out. The two of them looked like they had been crying. They had dark, wrinkly bags under their eyes and really didn't look happy.

"Are you April?" A smile appeared on their faces and she nodded. "Leo talked about you a lot. You were quite special to him." Her eyes glistened and I stared down at the floor, not knowing how to react. I guess these are his parents.

"So, would you like to do the honors?" She raised her eyebrows. "Leo insisted on playing "Time of My Life" at his funeral. Would you like to be the one that turns the song on?"

April laughed. "Of course he did. Yeah, sure." His father helped her up, linking his arm with hers. I refused to give the impression that I am a total jackass, so I stood there for as long as I possibly could. 5 minutes passed and when no one was looking, I went straight to the bathroom. I can't believe Leo's parents actually went through with his blasphemous request. Just standing there felt like a complete nightmare. This was not a time for happy music. This was a time to reflect on someone's death. When I reached the doors, I opened them and did the best I could to resist the urge. I turned on the faucet and splashed my face with cold water, hoping that would help me. However, it didn't. At this point, I have no idea how to stop drinking. It had been three weeks since I started this whole thing and I already felt slightly addicted. Not completely, though. And that's a good thing, I guess. I rummaged through my purse and found the flask. Taking the cap off, I took a gulp of the Vodka and put it away.

"I know how you feel." I whipped my head around and saw a brunette haired girl come out of the stalls. Shit, I didn't know anyone was in here.

"I didn't realize someone was in here…

"It's okay, don't worry about it." But, seriously, did you come in here to get drunk?"

I grinned. "Ha, no." As much as I hate them, I would never get drunk at a funeral."

She scoffed. "I would." I didn't even know what to say to that.

"Were you close to Leo?"

"I am his cousin. "Well, was…

"Oh, I am really sorry."

"Don't be." I honestly don't understand how she can say that. I mean, she seems so cool about it.

"You?"

"No…my sister knew him. "They were actually into each other-

"April?" Well, what a small world...I wasn't expecting her to know April.

"Yeah…did he mention her?"

She nodded. "Once." "I am sorry...you know about her…

Great. This conversation is taking a turn for the worse. "What?" You mean her cancer?"

"Yeah…

"Shit happens. "Now, I really needed another drink. I took the vodka out and sighed. I couldn't.

"Well, if you're not going to, can I have a sip of that?" I don't have a disease or anything…

I handed her the drink and she took a swig. She winced. "Oh, god. That's so strong."

"I don't mind it." In fact, I loved the bitter taste of it. It had a way of drowning everything out. I had to text her back. I stopped caring about how wrong it was. "Oh my god, what?" I sent Greer a message in response to the one she sent me.

"Allison."

The girl stuck out her hand and I did the same.

"Brenna." An awkward silence filled the room before I decided it was time to leave. Alright, well, I should probably go."

"Yeah, me too."

As I was walking out, my phone buzzed and I quickly viewed Greer's response. "You're so gorgeous." God, do you know how much I want you right now?"

"No, but I know how much I want you." Ughhhhh…she will be the death of me. I put my phone away and frowned. The music played and I felt sick. I couldn't stand listening to this bullshit, but I would have to. What am I supposed to do? I can't leave and I can't go back into the bathroom. I had to do something. I searched around for Allison, but couldn't find her. Oh, well. The service is starting and I needed to sit down anyway. Soon, I found myself sitting next to April, listening to someone talk about how awesome Leo was. All I could do was imagine a better place to be in and that was so much easier to do when the music was off.

"You okay?" My sister whispered.

"I hate funerals." I said sadly.

She sighed. "I do too." Maybe if you go up and say something, this will go faster for the both of us." Hesitating, I took a deep breath and got up. What am I doing? I looked back at April, nervous and unprepared. She stuck her thumb up and smiled. All eyes seemed to be on me as the women who was before me finished and walked away. _You can do this. You can do this, Brenna. Think of Greer._

I helplessly stared out at the crowd of people. Well, here I go.

"Hi." I struggled with finding something to say until I looked at April. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I tried very hard to hold them back. "I didn't really know Leo, but my sister did and that's pretty much the only reason I am here. In all honesty, I really, really, dreaded coming here and I still don't want to be here because the last time I went to a funeral, it was my fathers."

So, I am not exactly feeling too great right now and I knew I wouldn't be happy if I came here. However, I did because Leo made my sister really happy and I am grateful for that. I don't want to be here right now, but I am pretty Leo felt the same way. From what I heard about him, I am not sure if that matters. He lived like he knew he was going to die and didn't waste any time. He made the best out of everything and had a lot of fun too. That's the way everyone should live.

Thank you, Leo. Thank you for making April and everyone else around you so happy. And thank you for letting my sister and other people know as well that even if you're sick and even if you're unhappy, things and can and will be alright."

Greer's POV

The pain in my arm is indescribable. I accidently fell asleep and rolled over on it. I woke up immediately, screaming. It's as if a thousand knives are buried deep in my skin. It's as if I had been stabbed, multiple times. That's all I can compare it to. The last thing I wanted to do was call an ambulance. I had to though. I really needed stitches. Man, I was not looking forward to the next hour.


	3. Drunken Dreams

"Greer?

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Brenna's face. "Brenna?" She smiled and took my arm, leaned down and kissed my cut. Then she sat up and placed her hand under my cheek, putting her lips against mine. I kissed her back, enjoying every second of her touch. She pulled away and looked at me with concern.

"You passed out once you saw them put your stitches in." I chuckled. Of course I did. Of course I did…

I put my good arm around her shoulder and just sat there, enjoying my time with her. She put her lips on mine, but before we could start doing anything, I had to make sure my parents weren't here. Oh, thank god. "My parents aren't here." I said with a smirk. Brenna grinned and she pushed me down, kissing me hard.

"Ow, babe, my arm."

"Oh, sorry."

"That's fine." I am fine with my arm hurting if it means you're going to be doing this."

Giving me her sexy smile like she normally does when she's turned on, she went back to kissing me. I put my hand on the back of her neck and pushed further into her lips. I felt like I was on fire. Being in love with her is unlike anything I have ever felt before. God, I needed her now. I pulled away and bit the bottom of her lip, causing her to moan. That just turned me on even more. Unable to help it, I kissed her back softly, but with more movement this time. I moved my head down a bit and felt her hands on my waist. As our mouths moved together, she slipped her tongue in and I gasped. I wasn't expecting that. With her tongue inside of my mouth, we fervently sped up the kiss.

Things were getting hot and heavy. Our lips came together in another quick movement and I felt her hand go under my shirt. I groaned. Pulling away, for a second, she sat up and straddled me, diving into my lips again. She had me pinned down, so I couldn't move. And I didn't want to either. We kissed passionately, going from slow to fast to fast to slow. I could feel her chest against mine, her stomach slowly rising up and down as she breathed. Her fingers traced the side of my abdomen, causing me to shudder. Brenna's hand slipped under my bra, squeezing my breast. "Ughhh." I moaned and pulled away. God that felt amazing. "I want you so much, but we have to stop now.

She frowned. "Awww." "That's okay." I can wait-

"Shit, my parents!" Brenna turned her head up, looking like a deer in the headlights. Sure enough, she saw my parents heading down the hallway. She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and ran out the door. Shoot, I just wanted to spend more time with her. However, they weren't here yet, so I got up and began searching in the doctor's cabinet. I was really not looking forward to seeing them. I rummaged through a bunch of surgical items until I came upon what looked like a knife. It wasn't one, but it would do. Not being able to help it, I pulled up my sleeve. I made an incision at the top of my shoulder and cringed. Then, I slowly began dragging the object across my skin. I stared as blood spurted out.

"Ahhh." I winced. It hurt so much, but I couldn't stop there. I'd continue later. I quickly grabbed a paper towel and pressed it to my newly formed cut. When it stopped dripping, I faked a smile. My parents walked in the door and rushed to my side.

"Are you alright? What happened?"

"I am fine. Don't worry. I accidently cut myself while shaving."

They looked at the bandage on my arm and their eyes widened. "Try to be more careful next time, okay?" We were really worried about you."

If they were so worried, what took them so long to get here? "I am fine. I promise I'll be more careful the next time."

"Alright, well, are you ready to go home?"

No. I am not. "Yes, but before I go, let me tell the doctor that I am leaving okay?"

"Okay." My mom said. In all honesty, I really was looking for the doctor, but I was also searching for Brenna as well. I walked down the hallway wondering where the hell the doctor was, when all of a sudden I felt hands wrap around my waist. I screamed, but then a reassuring voice calmed me down.

"Shhhh…it's just me. She kissed me on the cheek and I turned around, smiling at her. Brenna continued to hold me as I continued to search for the doctor. It felt so nice having her arms around me, but it was quite hard to move.

"I am having trouble moving."

"I know." She laughed and still stayed on me.

"Brenna, c'mon."

"No. I don't want to leave you."

"Well, then get off me and you can hold my hand. Pouting, she got off of me and placed her hand in mine.

"My gosh, where is this guy?"

"Oh, great! You can't find someone…that means more time for me." Before I could say anything,, she pushed me up against a wall and kissed me. Ow! That hurt my shoulder.

"Brenna!" I squealed. "We're in public…

She shrugged. "So?"

"So, someone could see us and I really need to find this doctor…

"Why do you care if someone sees us?"

"You know I am not a big fan of PDA."

"It's not PDA if no one can see us." I looked around and no one was really here, but if someone walked through I would be really embarrassed. I didn't care because we were two girls, I've just never liked PDA.

"Alright, there's no one here, but I still have to find this guy."

"Are you sure you have to find him?"

"I guess I don't have to find him, but I did tell my parents that's what I was going to do." Oh, screw it. I got out my phone and dialed my mom's number, really not caring anymore. I waited impatiently for my mother to answer and finally after a few seconds she picked up.

"Hey, honey."

"Hey, mom. I found the doctor and he says he wants to talk me about something." It might be a bit." Not too long though." I eyed Brenna as I said this. She grinned.

"Alright, that's fine. You be good now, okay?"

"Okay, Mom. See you soon. Love you." My mom said I love you back and I hung up. I didn't mind that I had just lied to my mother. All I wanted to do was spend some time with her.

"I didn't say you had to lie to them."

"I wanted to." I smiled and kissed her.

"You're so naughty. I love it." Just hearing those words come out of her mouth got me so turned on.'

"Since, I am so bad, tell me, what are you going to do to me?" I smirked. She raised her eyebrows, obviously not prepared for that statement.

"God, you are so hot." She pressed her lips to mine forcefully, but I pushed myself off of her.

"Nope. I am not continuing until you tell me what you're going to do to me. She bit her lip and took my hand in hers. She opened a door that was near us and pushed me inside. To my surprise, she took off her shirt and flung it on the floor. Then, to my even greater surprise, she reached around her back and undid her bra, letting it drop to the floor. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. I stared at her chest with my mouth hung open. I can't believe what I am seeing.

"My gosh, you are so beautiful."

"Thank you." Brenna took my hands in hers and pressed them against her breasts. Holy crap. I groaned and she sighed.

"Do you like this?" She said. All I could do was nod. She dropped my hands and smirked. Well, I guess you won't mind waiting then."

My mind couldn't even comprehend what was going on. "What the hell was that?" I said, completely and utterly confused.

"You said you wanted to know what I was going to do to you. " She gave me a sly smile.

Shit. She got me. She got me bad. While, she was putting on her shirt, I thought of a way of getting back at her. I walked right up to her and stared her down.

"Give me your hands." Brenna looked curiously at me.

"Why?" Instead of responding, I took her hand in mine and unbuttoned my pants. Oh my gosh…the look on her face right now is priceless. And so fucking sexy too. I pressed my self up against her, kissing her neck.

She began breathing heavily and I stuck her hand down my underwear. She gasped. I groaned a bit and sighed. That feels so good. I love the way her skin feels on me. I wanted this so much, but I'd have to wait. I quickly removed her hand and put my lips against hers. Then, I pulled away and said quietly in her ear, "Now were even."

Brenna's POV-

Holy shit. That was the hottest thing she had ever done. Fuck. She really knew how to get me turned on. Seriously, the last couple of minutes were pure heaven. I had never felt anything like that in my entire life. I loved every second of it. I loved how she kissed my neck and I loved how she unexpectedly shoved my hand down her pants. That was so hot. I enjoyed the way my skin felt on her center. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. I squirmed, trying to get rid of the feelings of arousal, but they wouldn't leave.

"Shit."

She smirked.

"Get out of here you naughty girl." I pushed her out of the closet and she waved goodbye, smiling.

However, her smile turned into a frown once she saw her parents looking at her with shock. Crap! I scrambled to the floor, in a hurry to hide from them. I felt so bad. This is all my fault. I didn't even want to know how they were berating her. It killed me to think about what they were saying to her.

God, I am so screwed. They knew she was in here with me. Fuck. What the hell are we supposed to do now?" I had hidden a flask in the closet from when I was in here before. When I found out Greer was in the hospital I stashed some Vodka in my purse and hid it in the closet before visiting her. I knew I would need it and man, was I right. I fumbled around for the bottle, wanting it more and more with each second that passed. Ah! Here it is! I grabbed it and took the cap off.

I slid down against the wall I had been leaning against and dropped to the floor. I gulped down the tart liquid, feeling ashamed of myself. I shouldn't have brought her in here. I should have just let her look for the doctor by herself. Then, I wouldn't be such a burden. That's all I was now. I didn't think Greer thought of me like that, but its what I was. Her life was becoming filled with problems and it was all because of me. All because of stupid me.

If I wasn't such a bad person, her parents would let me see her. But, that's not the case. Tears escaped from my eyes as I downed more of the Vodka. I could feel the acidity from the drink burn inside my chest. It was much better than the feeling of my heart breaking, let me tell you that. With each minute that went by I felt worse and worse about myself. Not willing to be drunk around my sister, I put the flask away in my purse. I slipped my pants back on and wiped under my eyes. As I walked out of the closet, I found myself texting Greer.

"I am so sorry. This is all my fault." I put my phone in my pocket and continued walking down the stark, dimly lit hallways. I didn't know what to do. Every time I get close to her, something gets in the way. I love her and there is nothing I can do about it. My pocket vibrated and I pulled my phone out, tears still in my eyes.

"No, its not. I can't talk to you right now…

Great. Now she couldn't talk. My heart broke inside my chest and I felt myself reaching for the bottle in my purse. No, Brenna! You can't. Control yourself!

Instead of drinking, I slammed my fist into the nearest wall, not caring if I'd bleed later. God, I love her so much. This is such a fucked up situation. Ow! My hand! Well, that's what I get. I really don't care. I really don't.

My fist throbbed as I went down the stairs. The second level is where April is. I really needed to see her. I wouldn't get drunk right now, but I had to have another sip. I had to do something to get rid of this pain and drinking was the only thing that would help. It's become a terrible habit, but at this point I had stopped caring about the things that weren't good for me. The things that were good had left, so why did it matter if I was getting involved in something bad?

I stepped down the last stair and hid behind a wall, taking out the flask. I took a swig of the vodka, letting the drink take control. I felt my head spin around and I became dizzy. Swallowing more of the alcohol, I opened up the door and stuck the flask in my pocket. I didn't want anyone to see it. I mean, fuck if they knew I was drunk, but I certainly didn't need someone seeing a flask on me. I took the stairs nearest to April's room, so I was already next to her room. Well, practically. I would have to walk down the dreaded hallways to get to her, but thankfully, I wasn't that far from here. I staggered out the door, feeling the complete affect of the alcohol. I tripped and fell to the floor, laughing it off. It actually kind of hurt and I'd probably find a bruise on my leg later, but right now I am too drunk to care. I laid on the cold hospital floor for about a minute and then got up. I looked both ways and pulled the vodka out of my pocket. Great, no

one is here! Thinking about Greer, I frowned and took the top off. This is seriously all my fault. I drunkenly dropped the cap onto the ground and leaned over to get it. In the process of doing so, my phone rang. It was Greer. It's a good thing I didn't sound drunk.

"Hey, I can talk right now...I couldn't talk before because my parents were hassling me."

"I am really sorry. This is all my fault." I took another gulp of vodka. I felt myself sway and begin to lose balance.

"No, its not-are you drunk?" Oh, shit. She could tell.

"What? No."

"Don't lie to me."

"Alright, fine. Yeah, I am."

"Brenna!" I told you drinking is not the way to handle this."

"I am not drinking because of you. I am drinking because of me." I slurred my words. I sure as hell sounded drunk now.

"Okay, well please stop. Please, Brenna." I don't like it when you get drunk."

"Okay, I am going to the window and throwing it out now."

"That's my girl." I smiled and staggered to the window, fumbling around with the lock. God, I am so drunk I don't even know what I am doing.

"I am so wasted I don't even know how to open a window." I chuckled.

"Does someone need instructions?" She said, coddling me.

"I am afraid I might."

"Well, too bad. That's what you get for getting drunk."

"Oh, cmon!"

"Nope."

"Ughhh, c'mon. This window is literally impossible to open." I had gotten the lock and I really tried hard to open the window, but it just wouldn't budge. "I'll throw it away in a trash can."

I unsteadily walked towards April's room and continued talking to her. "So how much trouble did you get in?"

"I am grounded." No computer, no tv, I can't go over anyone's house and they can't come mine."

"Shit. That's harsh. They can't really do that, can they?"

She sighed. "Yes, they can. They're my parents after all."

"Crap." But you didn't even do anything that bad."

"In their opinion I did."

"God, I always manage to fuck everything up. What is wrong with me?

"Don't talk about yourself like that. You don't fuck everything up and trust me, nothing is wrong with you."

"There must be something wrong with me because they won't let me see you. There right. I am a terrible influence."

"No, you listen to me Brenna Carver. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. There is something wrong with them. My parents don't understand you and that's their problem. Remember, you're beautiful."

I smiled. Hearing her never fails to make my day better."

"You make everything better." I found a trash can and grinned, throwing it away.

"I am glad." "You make me really happy too."

"Same here, babe." She chuckled.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I guess we've started using pet names then...

"What, babe?"

"Yeah." She said happily.

I shook my head. "You were the one who called me that first."

"Oh, right." I am so forgetful."

"That's alright." And I threw the vodka away, just to let you know."

"Yay." Alright, well, I have to go now. My parents will be coming to check on me soon."

"Blah."

"Yeah, I know. But, I'll talk to you later okay?

"Alright, bye." I frowned, not wanting to her to go. Thankfully, I was right near her room. God, I really wish I hadn't thrown away that drink, but it was for that best. At least I wasn't hammered. I was certainly tipsy, but not actually that intoxicated. I stumbled into April's room, feeling more drunk than I actually was. I am not sure why I felt this way, but I did.

Luckily, she was asleep. I drunkenly walked over, staggering with each step. I looked at her for a second, then collapsed onto her bed. The room was whirling around and around and I just wanted it to stop. I curled up next to her, resting on her back. I am surprised she didn't wake up. Man, she was knocked out. It was really nice to see her sleeping so soundly...I am sure she needed it.

I stared at her I.V, feeling sad. It makes me really upset to think of how sick she's been feeling lately. Tears filled up my eyes and they fell down my face. She told me she's been nauseous and exhausted. I feel so helpless. There is nothing I can do to make her feel better. More than anything I wish I could be a bone marrow transplant, but I can't. God, this sucks. I wiped under my eyes and got closer to her, not wanting to let April go. I couldn't stop crying. The tears kept pouring out of my eyes and the back of her shirt had a wet stain on it. I am so scared of losing her. Thinking she could die from this just really freaks me out. Sobbing, I continued to rest against her and then I closed my eyes.

_The four of us sat down together. Greer held my hand and I felt all warm. Her house is beautiful and everything is set up so nicely. Pretty China plates were laid out on the table and corning-ware glasses and silver utensils were on the placemats. It all felt so awkward. I am meeting her parents for the first time. They seemed nice, but didn't look too thrilled to see me. I wouldn't let them affect me though. Besides, Greer looked beautiful and that distracted me from my thoughts. She was wearing a pretty pink dress and her hair had been pulled back. I could hardly keep my eyes off of her. _

_"So, Brenna, tell us about yourself." _

_Oh, man, what should I say? There really isn't much to tell them. "I really like photography."_

_"Brenna's good too. She takes some beautiful photos." She grinned, showing her teeth. Her eyes sparkled as if the sun was on them. I love how her face lights up whenever she talks about me. It makes me feel like such a great person. Her parents nodded, not looking too thrilled._

_"What are your views about the upcoming election?"_

_I awkwardly looked down at the floor, not knowing how to respond._

_"Mom..._

_I would rather not be asked questions that have to do with politics and it seemed like Greer knew that. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed Greer's face change from happy to annoyed. Her eyes were no longer glistening. I put her hand in mine, knowing that would probably calm her down._

_"What?" Her mother asked Greer, trying to figure out what the problem was._

_"We talked about this." Brenna doesn't-_

_"It's okay. I've got this." I told her, trying to make her feel less annoyed. "I've paid attention to the elections, but I don't like politics, so I don't really have much to say."_

_Her mother nodded, not impressed. "Well do you have any views on the war in Iraq?"_

_"I don't believe in war. Fighting destroys everything." It's not necessary."_

_They nodded. "You're pretty smart." I smiled. I knew I said something right._

_"She's really smart." "One of the smartest." Greer grinned and nudged me. I chuckled, blushing. I am sure my cheeks were bright red by this point._

_"Thanks." I turned to her and said. "I may have a brain, but I am certainly not a genius, that's for sure."_

_"You don't have to be." You're brain is perfect just the way it is." Awwwww...there she goes, making me blush again. I looked at her, feeling completely loved. Her eyes had lit up again, glistening and full of life. When her parents left the room to go get dinner, I leaned over and planted a kiss on her cheek._

_A couple of minutes later, the food was served. We were having steak with mashed potatoes and broccoli. The meal was delicious! So of course, I didn't forget to compliment her parents on how good it was._

_The steak had been seasoned perfectly and tasted great. The meat was tender and juicy. When the meal had been brought out, it looked beautiful. The food was topped with basil leaves and carrots, adding a nice touch to it. My mom never made food look pretty like Greer's parents managed to make it look. I have a lot of respect for that. It's important that food not only tastes good, but looks good too. The broccoli tasted great as well. It had been grilled and it's edges were brown and crisp. To my surprise, I actually liked the mashed potatoes. I've never liked the taste of them, so I've never eaten potatoes. However, there was something different about the way these potatoes were prepared. They tasted really good! They had been lightly buttered and a bit of pepper was sprinkled on, adding to the flavor. I don't know what else her parents did to them, but all I know is that I wanted more! _

_After dinner, Greer's parents needed help cleaning up and I followed, offering my assistance. I tried to be polite as possible because I really wanted to impress her parents. However, they didn't need any more help, so I just stood by and watched. My face became bright and lit up as soon as I heard her mother mention me. Greer was washing a dish and she stopped her for a second and spoke. "Your father and I were wrong about her. She's great." "You picked a good girl, Greer." And a beautiful one too." _

_The biggest smile formed across my face. I couldn't be happier. She saw me peek out from behind the wall, blushing as usual. She smiled, looking as pretty as ever. _

_"Yeah, she is beautiful." _

My eyes opened and I lurched forward, squinting at the sun rays shining through the window. Oh screw this! That was just a dream? I groaned.

"Hey, sleepyhead." I jumped, not expecting the cheerful voice. I took a look around me and found Beth, sitting next to me, driving. I should have realized I was in a car. God, I am so stupid. At least she isn't mad at me anymore. And at least I am sober now.

"Hi." Why am I in your car?" And why are you suddenly so happy to see me?"

She smiled. "April found you asleep in her hospital bed and told me to take you home. And I can't really be angry at you anymore. You're too sweet and cute." Then, the dream really hit me. Fuck, I wish what happened while I slept could become a part of reality. My reality.

"Oh, thanks."

"No problem." No, wait! She can't take me home. I know what I have to do! That dream made me think of impressing her parents and that's exactly what's going to happen.

"Take me to Greer's." I had made it seem like a demand, instead of a wish. Oops. Beth grinned.

"What's the magic word?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so demanding. Can you please take me to Greer's?"

"You didn't sound demanding. I just wanted you to say please."

When we arrived at her house, I sprung out of the car, desperate to get my point across. I went up to the door and held my finger to the bell, but before I could I saw something shocking. My heart shattered like glass inside my chest and my eyes burned with tears. Another girl was kissing Greer. However, Greer pulled away, so she probably felt bad about it. I burst open the door and let my anger take control.

"What the hell is going on here?"

They both whipped their heads in my direction and Greer leapt forward. "Brenna, this is not what it looks like!"

"Yeah, right. I saw you guys kiss."

"She kissed me first, I swear!" Greer looked scared and I was abut to say something harsh, but the other girl spoke.

"Who is this?" The other girl asked.

"I am her girlfriend!" "I assumed she would have told you that, but I guess you didn't, did you, Greer?" I snapped coldly.

"Girlfriend? You have a girlfriend?" The brunette asked.

"I didn't need to tell her because I thought we're just friends." She gestured to the other girl. And yes, I have a girlfriend." I am sorry, but you have to leave."

"No, the only one that's leaving is me." I attacked harshly.

"Brenna, don't." Tears fell from her eyes and I walked out the door, crying and heartbroken. How could she do this to me? I heard footsteps behind me and could only guess who it was, so I ignored her and was almost to the car when I heard a voice that obviously wasn't Greer's.

"Brenna, wait!" I turned around and saw the bitch who had been kissing my girlfriend.

"Get the hell away from me."

"Please let me explain." I looked at her, trying to figure out if I should let her talk.

"You have two seconds."

"Greer was right. I kissed her first, but I honestly didn't know she had a girlfriend."

"Bullshit. I am sure she told you."

"No, there was no need to tell me. We're just friends-

I furrowed my eyebrows and glared at her. That is such bullshit! Friends do not kiss each other like that!

"She should have told you." And friends don't kiss each other!" You know what?" I am going." Angrily, I walked away. I couldn't believe this. How dare she kiss my girlfriend! I wasn't mad at Greer anymore but I was mad at her. What lowlife would do such a thing? Again, I was almost at the car, when she blurted out something.

"Her parents paid me!"


End file.
